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There’s a real mixed bag of reactions to the pandemic right now. I’ve been trying to fathom out why some people have been hit harder mentally by it than others.

I wonder if people are actually grieving for the life or lifestyle that they have lost...

The thing about grief - and I have serious creds in this area - is that when you’re in it, you’re in it. And you want to be in it. You feel absolutely justified in being in it. For months after I lost my brother, I was quite content to be sad and angry and hurt. I wanted to be - my feelings and reactions correlated with the magnitude of the loss. So maybe if people are feeling a huge sense of loss because of the pandemic, could their behaviours and reactions be fuelled by grief?

Grief brings with it many reactions - shock, anger, denial, rejection, resistance... it is in fact a form of trauma. It’s dawned on me that many of the reactions that we might class as ‘negative’ (i.e. depression, anxiety, complaining about the government, refusing to follow restrictions, conspiracy theories etc) fall into these categories. So it stands to reason that anyone reacting with anger, denial or rejection might actually be grieving.

If this is the case, our friends don’t need challenging, they need our support. And if YOU are grieving, you must take the time you need. What I’ve learned about grief is that it shouldn’t be rushed, and people generally know when the time is right for them to move forward. They don’t need pushing or pulling. They just need time, and support when they are READY to receive it.

My phone is always on.

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